The Grift of Self-Actualization (Looking-Glass Self)
Introducing the “Looking-Glass Self”, a sociological concept coined by Charles Horton Cooley.
Abstractly presented as a multitude of one’s image when viewed through the contextualized lens of
others, the looking-glass self is drawn from and reflective of subjective perception.
In its classical definition, the looking-glass self follows the structure of a
three-step process:
- A person imagines how they appear in the eyes of others.
- The person becomes conscious of how others might judge them based on that appearance.
- The person then reacts to these speculated judgments accordingly, and develops their sense of self as a result (e.g. perceived negative judgement translates into negative self-perception).
To put it simply:
You are a reflection of who others think you are, and others are a reflection of
who you think they are.
In theory, there is no finish line to this process of self-development and actualization.
In modern-day psychology and sociology, the framework of the looking-glass self is often treated as beyond theoretical -- people commonly define themselves within the context of their social
interactions, which in itself is a demonstration of extremely human-specific empathy.
While seeming initially brash and reductive when going over the three core steps of its framework, the
concept of the looking-glass self begins to make more sense when we entertain the thought of feelings,
perceptions, and reflections thereof all being subjective. Non-mechanical, emotions like
pride or shame are ultimately man-made, endowed with value in the scheme of social constructs.
It's a dated theory. It doesn’t matter if you don’t agree with it.
Yet ask yourself this: How was I shaped by others? How were others shaped by me?