The Grift of Self-Actualization (Looking-Glass Self)

Introducing the “Looking-Glass Self”, a sociological concept coined by Charles Horton Cooley.
Abstractly presented as a multitude of one’s image when viewed through the contextualized lens of others, the looking-glass self is drawn from and reflective of subjective perception.
In its classical definition, the looking-glass self follows the structure of a three-step process:
  1. A person imagines how they appear in the eyes of others.
  2. The person becomes conscious of how others might judge them based on that appearance.
  3. The person then reacts to these speculated judgments accordingly, and develops their sense of self as a result (e.g. perceived negative judgement translates into negative self-perception).
To put it simply:
You are a reflection of who others think you are, and others are a reflection of who you think they are.

In theory, there is no finish line to this process of self-development and actualization. In modern-day psychology and sociology, the framework of the looking-glass self is often treated as beyond theoretical -- people commonly define themselves within the context of their social interactions, which in itself is a demonstration of extremely human-specific empathy.

While seeming initially brash and reductive when going over the three core steps of its framework, the concept of the looking-glass self begins to make more sense when we entertain the thought of feelings, perceptions, and reflections thereof all being subjective. Non-mechanical, emotions like pride or shame are ultimately man-made, endowed with value in the scheme of social constructs.

It's a dated theory. It doesn’t matter if you don’t agree with it.

Yet ask yourself this: How was I shaped by others? How were others shaped by me?